Alien Covenant

Alien Covenant

Released: May 2017

Starring: Katherine Waterston, Michael Fassbender, Billy Crudup, Carmen Ejogo

Director: Ridley Scott

In our latest trip to Ridley Scott’s version of space, will we be in for another thrill ride aboard The Nostromo, or will we have another horror aboard The Prometheus?
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Alien Covenant is the latest in the seemingly never-ending string of Alien films and the second of the newly formed prequels (although the first one which openly admits it is one from the get go [frankly though, Prometheus’ version of keeping it under wraps was about as subtle as David Dickinson’s [hopefully] fake tan]).

It opens ominously [how else would you want it to?], with the colony ship, The Covenant [ah, now the title makes sense] hitting a snag of bother as they fly to their designated colony planet. Saved from disaster by their on board synthetic, Walter (Fassbender), the crew are suddenly awoken from their hypersleep, with urgent repairs to The Covenant required. Oh, and their captain (along with a chunk of their colonists) has been killed.

Drifting through space, they stumble across the most unexpected of things, a distress signal, coming from a planet that apparently no human has ever ventured foot upon. And not just any planet, the perfect colonisation planet. Led by their new and (for some unknown reason, apologetically religious) captain Oram (Crudup) the crew set off to investigate [seriously, the only reason you’d know he has any religious view is because he goes out of his way to mention that he does, it literally has no bearing on anything other than making Oram seem a tad neurotic]. Not before our new second in command, Daniels (Waterston) (the certain heroine/protagonist (and partner to our now deceased captain) of the film), has formally protested.

Someone should probably have told them something about trusting silver platters though because, once the majority of the crew are on terra firma, things (unsurprisingly) go south, fast. From virtually nowhere, we have a couple of angsty looking aliens kicking about and causing a nuisance. You now, getting in the way, running in between peoples’ feet, eating the crew and blowing up the only shuttle back to the orbiting Covenant, all the standard stuff.

Everything looks extremely ropey for everyone with eyes until a familiar looking, hooded, and shaggy haired character appears from nowhere to save the day; David (you know, the synthetic from Prometheus (2012)).

David leads them to his dingy and decidedly creepy sanctuary, where the crew can regroup and prepare their escape. Here, we are treated to some tonally lighter scenes between David and Walter, sharing their knowledge and tales of their ancestry. We even learn what happened to David in between Prometheus and now. It’s all rather pleasant (well, as pleasant as an Alien film can be). Amidst all of the chin-wagging and flute playing [we have a full minute of Fassbender playing the flute with another Fassbender, capped with the immortal line “I’ll do the fingering”], Oram makes possibly his only decent decision, to get the flip off this planet. Radio calls in the rain eventually reach The Covenant, who begins a dangerous descent to the planet below (you see, the ship can’t get too close to the planet without being utterly messed up, which is awkward).

Yet, even with rescue impending, things just don’t ever really feel, well, safe. It’s likely of little surprise then, that even when we our crew are boarding their escape ship, they are attacked by more menacing xenomorphs, fighting them away before re-boarding The Covenant.

Ever since I was a child I have loved the Alien films [although, come to think of it, watching them in my childhood was actually vaguely irresponsible of my parents and explains a whole lot about me today]. Every sci-fi horror I watch is held to the high bar that is Alien (1979), and every space based action film, to Aliens (1986) (which is [controversially] undoubtedly my favourite in the franchise).

So it’s not a shock when I find myself comparing Alien Covenant to both of these throughout.

And while it is enjoyable, and a considerable improvement on Prometheus, Alien Covenant falls well short of the early high bar set by the classics.

You see, in the originals, the characters all felt like they could be real and that they truly were in danger. Here, each character (Daniels aside) is essentially a minor caricature, broken down into almost meaningless soundbites. The concept that the captain of the crew could die before they’re even seen on screen is an interesting idea, but the potential consequences of this are largely glossed over. Instead, everyone just mindlessly cracks on with it. And I’m not sure why they felt the need to mention that Oram and his wife, Karine (Ejogo) are religious in any way. Save for the fact he uses it as a rod to beat himself with after some poor decision making, it has no relevance. Nobody cares, so why mention it at all?

It’s almost as though the writers had some great ideas, but decided not to properly explore them, so that they could progress the story more rapidly and get to the bits with the chomping. Except… there isn’t an alien for the first hour of the film. It’s all just forced dialogue, moping and mild disagreements. So, I’m not wholly sure why they bothered to cut the corners in the first place. Anyway, you don’t actually need to see an alien for it to be effective [cheeky wink to Alien there], simply knowing there is one about is enough. Which we know there isn’t until about fifty minutes in when there are bubbles of activity in our simmering pan of alien water.

What it does mean is that when the aliens do pop up, there are limbs flying, blood spurting and things exploding faster than Theresa May can change her policies. Which is all lovely, but we’re left watching a huge number of characters we didn’t really care about kick the bucket in rapid succession. Now, with a cast list as long as this, especially in this kind of film, you know that it’s only a short matter of time before it turns into a “who can die in the most gruesome way” contest. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if Alien Covenant was trying to tidy up some of the mess that Prometheus created, then maybe a smaller crew, with fuller characters and a fuller story would have been a better slant.

Perhaps I’ve just seen too many of this style of film, perhaps Alien Covenant was as textbook as it felt, but every thrill or plot twist was so obviously signposted that highway maintenance crews are taking note. I am very much a seat jumper; if something is meant to make you even twitch, my seat will be quickly returned to its upright position, before I summarily land in a quivering heap on the floor. Yet, I didn’t even finch. Not once. The closest to panic I managed to reach was when my Minstrels ran out with 45 minutes to go [which was terrifying]. To try and force you into a false sense of terror, dark and moody lighting has been used, but instead of filling you with dread, it just feels incredibly forced, like they’re trying as hard to impart fear upon you, as you are trying to see anything in the bleak darkness.

All in all Alien Covenant is an enjoyable but flawed film. It doesn’t have enough action to really call itself an action film, nor does it have anything near enough horror to call itself a horror film. It doesn’t fall in between either, it just misses both targets.

It is a step back in the right direction for a film franchise which was in great danger of completely losing its way, but not even Ridley Scott has been able to return it to its former glory (yet at least). Instead what we have is a bit of a none event, which has plugged up a few holes in the Xenomorph back story; much like the sixth episode in a ten part season, it’s nice to know, but you’ve not missed out on too much. Imagine, if you will, an episode of Game of Thrones featuring nothing but Bran lost in the woods and Arya fighting with a stick; it’s not bad when you’re watching it, but you’ll be glad for the next instalment. Not a must-see, especially for those who don’t already love the franchise, but certainly not one to avoid either.

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🌟🌟🌟 3 Stars

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I loved

We’ve taken a much needed step back in the right direction with Alien Covenant and, even if it has some big old flaws in it, it’s nice to know things aren’t going straight down the toilet.

Pet Peeve

It does try to fill in the gaps missing the story, but to be honest, some of what it says contradicts the other existing films, Prometheus included. If we take all that has come before as canon (including Alien vs Predator 1 & 2 (2004 & 2007)) then the Aliens have been in existence for millennia. Alien Covenant would tell you different though. And it’s not like when they tell you of the start point for the Xenomorph you have all of the answers at last. Instead you’re left wondering, how on earth did that bit come about then? Frustrating.

David has randomly grown long hair. Like where did it all come from? Was he originally built with swathes of extra hair inside him, ready to pop out like Play Dough should be ever need a man-bun? It was probably the most confusing part of the film. Also, why was it all blonde? Like, I know he died it in Prometheus, but surely that wouldn’t change all of his additional synthetic hair?!